New Practice Regimen

[Blaireau]

Lex Answers

Don't let the perfect be the enemy of the good, Badger.

Looks like you've had a rough couple of days, and are in the process of recalibrating what you expect out of this process. That's totally cool--if you didn't do a little check partway through, I'd be worried.

But I will push you a little bit on parts of it.

Yeah. I like the push. I'm too easy on myself most times.

1. Why give up on Giobbi? You had a pretty good reason for why you wanted to work through Card College methodically. Are those reasons wrong or less pertinent now? (Honest question, not rhetorical. "I was wrong" or "things changed" is a perfectly good response.) Has something changed that warrants the change in your practice?

I realised that Card College was important on the larger scale, but my immediate meeds were much smaller. It would have been ridiculous to try and work through even one book in a month, given my limited experience. And so I'm focusing instead on having a solid show for March when I'll be visiting some friends so I can perform for them the best I can.

2. Why settle only for perfection in performance? Nobody is David Blaine on their first outing. Heck, on their 250th. If one waits to perform only the perfect routine, one will probably never perform. (Yes, high standards can be a form of procrastination too. I have a feeling that the episode in the Starbuck's might fit this bill?)

Anne Lamott's book on writing, Bird By Bird, has a whole chapter on "sh[!++]y first drafts." I'd wager everything she says about writing might also apply to this situation. The upshot is that sometimes you need to go out and do it even though you know it's going to suck. I would go so far as to say because you know it's going to suck. The only way to know how to fix it is to do it, fail, and figure out what went wrong.

Very true. It's not perfection that was the prime motivator I would say, but rather ego protection. Having had very minimal understanding of magic before this month, when I started to actually research and know more about magic, it's history, the theories, and performers, I was taken aback. The model of the magic world that I had was so small and ignorant. It's disheartening to look up to your older sister as the
most amazing tennis player in the world only to realise that she's not a pro and there's an even higher level above her. Even worse when it's personal, and instead of the small pond you were in you find yourself in a lake with numerous more species competing for the same food sources as you. Little koi cannot fight Loch Ness, I think.

And so there has to be that amount of recklessness and risk. There are a lot of mistakes that you can keep personal and not need to learn in public, but if you stay inside all your life and never perform because of some unknown factor, well, where's the fun in that? I think the most amazing part in magic is it enabling you to connect with other human beings in a very specific and fundamental way. Instead of the usual discord of everyday life, you have something special shared. And that creates an immediate, disturbing, and revitalising bond, momentary as it may be. That is the beauty in magic, or any art for that matter.
As for the line between practice and performance, that is something that every individual needs to determine for himself or herself. You can perform regularly, making plenty of mistakes and failing so hard sometimes that you cry, yet always moving and improving and creating and evolving. Or you can practice indefinitely, learning every nuance and detail and seeing the contrast between how well you move and how the masters before you have moved and being faced with a mountain of a gap, or the even worse mediocre and humdrum performances of everyday ignoramus only getting away because of polite spectators and drunkenness—yet you are always refining and excising the fat.

To stay in one extreme is to be alone, having few equals and rivals. Shunning, and being shunned by most. Yet being a beautiful and unique snowflake, a diamond in the rough very few will ever understand. Or you can choose to be in the middle. A dynamic and static being, ever changing and evolving thing. Here there is no security, no safety, for what might be beautiful one night will be corrupted the next. You will change and grow much, as a person and a performer, and you will want scream for joy on ecstatic nights, and cry to sleep tearing your hair out in times of despair. Neither choice is better than the other. The only question is, what do you want for yourself?

3. Which leads to one final observation. Magic--as I understand it anyway--used to be an apprenticeship deal. Even now, I would not be surprised at all if there is a lot of talk of "paying your dues" in order to get into the industry. Although I am not terribly familiar with the phenomenon in magic, I am familiar with it in other areas.

In my experience, the most common coin in which one "pays ones dues" is failure. Work, service, and study are others, but failure is one of the most prominent. In many fields, there isn't much respect for people who have never tasted failure--and much respect for people who learn from their mistakes and grow from them.

But ya can't grow from your mistakes if ya never let yourself make any.

My apologies if these are off the mark--I might be reading way too much into the last couple of posts.But I noticed a change in the way you were talking about your regimen, and I thought this might be something worth saying.

Fail. Fail. Fail. Win. Fail. Fail. Fail. Mediocrity. Fail. Win. Win. Fail.

It goes on. But it's the people that stick to one thing enough that become the bright shining stars. I'm still working on this, and I still want to keep on going. But one day, I might not want to be a magi any longer. To be honest, I don't want to step into a door yet. I want to taste the richness of many arts and many disciplines and learn and drink from all the fountains of life. As long as I'm in anything though, I'm going to do my best to throw myself headfirst into those failures and not spare anything in the pursuit of being only the best.

I hesitate a lot, in taking those falls, but I'm working on it. It's a process, and I'm enjoying it babe.

Again, these aren't off the mark. Thank you for your concern and involvement with this. It's very helpful, and it lights up my path along the way. You've been spot on about everything so far. Thank you.

Good for you for going out and doing it. It's also great that you're taking the time to think through what happened rather than just chalking it up to "I sucked" or "dumb audience." It's usually more complex than that.

I think you got a real nugget of wisdom there: Context Matters.

Where would you have a chance just to chat and hang out with folks who are generally your age and your "type"? Maybe just sit and shoot the breeze for a while before playing the "magician" card? Approaching folks with that first can be a little bit like walking into a singles bar with your zipper down: people will make assumptions about what you're up to even if it was an accident.

I've been thinking about this, and I realise that it's a lot harder without the magic. Because then you are walking up to complete strangers and connecting with them based only on...who you are. There's no sleights and patter and a stage to hide behind. I think that take the magic away from most of those that call themselves magicians and you'll find an inadequate social being. Myself included.

It's a good idea though, to work on just talking to people. I'll be going out this weekend with some friends and I'll not be bringing any cards. My only goal is to talk to as many new people as possible and make new friends. It should be easier with friends beside me, but that's another barrier I'll be using. Oh well. Little steps at a time.

About the "attention whore" gambit: not a bad idea, but risky early on. Audiences, in my experience (in fields other than magic), aren't that interested in watching a performer who just wants to be watched. Especially at the very beginning, it seems to me the performer should make it clear that there's something in it for the audience. (Do we not call this "the Pledge"?)

That might be more easily done if you've already established a rapport with the prospective audience--and they'll then have a context. "Yeah, this is my new bud Aloysius, and he likes fiddling with cards. I wonder why? Maybe I'll ask."

You bring up the word rapport, and that's exactly what happened here. I assumed a rapport that I didn't have, which though it's worked before, did not at this time. There was very little investment in the audience at the time. I was some guy that walked up to them and asked if they wanted to see magic. There was no hook, no chase. It was handed to them on a silver platter, and so they could have cared less about it. Now, had I been able to first draw intrigue and interest, vesting their attention into the performance, the line would have been funny. We were on different levels though, and so it didn't work.

 

[Blaireau]

Lex Answers pt.2

From there, there are all sorts of entrances:

--Are they philosophically inclined, talking about Big Issues? Joel Paschall has a great riff in BeLieVe (or however that's capitalized) that might be of use in connecting magic, reality, and art.

--Are they clubby types? Flashy color changes might shock them in a good way.

--Bored suburbanites? Anything that might make them believe magic is real and tangible--give 'em something to take home.

These are broad generalizations, and none of them will be clearly true, but once you've established a rapport with them, I think it will be twice as easy to then play the magician card and give them something that really blows their minds.

Wow, those are some interesting ideas. I've never consciously thought of categorising people in those situations, so I'll work this into it. Why perform a piece on plumbing to CEO executives?

I think, if magic is like other endeavors in life, this is the first question you'll ask and the last you'll ever answer, if you ever do. Don't get too hung up on finding The Final Answer to that question--and expect any provisional answer to evolve. (Your posts over on T11 are already indicating that there's some evolution going on. "That's a good thing," as Martha Stewart would say.)

Harsh fact (but I think you can handle it because it seems you're a thoughtful guy): there will always be someone better than you at some aspect, at least, of the art. That's just the nature of the beast: I can't think of any art where one person can master the whole field simultaneously. Don't let that stand in the way of trying to excel, however: don't let the perfect become the enemy of the good.

(As an aside, this, too, is a good thing. It promotes a collegiality among top magicians because they all know there's someone else to look up to. Wayne Houchin might look up to the Bucks' flourishing, while the Bucks talk about the debt they owe to Chris Kenner's Totally Out of Control. Kenner's comments about the Clip Shift suggest the esteem he holds Chad Nelson in. And so on.)

I think you used a magic word (har har) in talking about "persona," and this might be a way into the question you started with.

Which part of yourself are you expressing through your magic? I'll take it for granted that your magic expresses something about you. Likewise, I'd submit that your magic cannot express everything about you all at once. What you choose to present and how you present it exposes selected aspects of yourself.

I would suggest--and this is a working theory, not a tried-and-true conclusion--that one way of answering your question is to choose which parts of your self you're exposing. (Get your collective minds out of the guttah . . . . ) The fun-loving clownish side? The mysterious is-he-an-alien side? The skilled card mechanic? That choice can help answer many questions about what you present and how you present it.

To tie back a little bit to the thoughts above about vocabulary, this is how you develop your distinct style, your vocabulary. This is all about figuring out which side of your self is coming out in your magic. All of these magicians who are prominent in the field have made choices about this, whether consciously or unconsciously. But because this is an expression of their selves, rather than something completely made up, it comes naturally, like flowing water.

I may be getting ahead of myself, but I don't see how the Bucks could stop doing magic if they tried. Organic demonstrated to me that it has become a natural part of their lives far beyond a profession. Likewise, I would wonder what was up if Daniel Madison ever titled something with more than one word: the single-word thing seems to be part of what he expresses with his magic.

And that's a good thing.

The idea that magic is a part of your personality was something that you helped to expand in my mind recently. I've had to experience more and more how...it can't be that you are magician by night and cubicle worker by day. OR perhaps you can, but in that case you are playing a role and no matter how well you play that role you will not connect with your audience as you—only as you playing that role.

I'm more and more convinced that this is a part of your life, and anything and everything that you do can either hinder it or add to it.

I'm loving this!

Don't stop mate, don't stop writing or flourishing and magic.

You're going to come to a conclusion sometime I'm sure, where you'll crack it, and you can just bring out yourself in front of strangers

Thank you. I'm not going to rush this process anymore. I know it'll take a lot of time and energy to get to the level that I want to be at, so I can't get disappointed when I don't see immediate results. Those aren't what I'm chasing anyway. Consistency, and the expression of the self.

(And if, by the way, this isn't helpful, is too far off the mark, or is getting too specific to be of use to the forums, feel free to let me know and I'll stifle it. So far it seems like Badger is facing some fairly common issues, but at some point this might be handled better over PM.)

Nope. Don't do that. It's been a good exchange so far. And you've really helped me along on understanding what I want to do, why, and how to go about it. So keep this public for now.


Thanks to everyone that's participated in this even just to say a few words. Your concerns also were very influential in making me ask myself the right questions. I've slacked off for a bit, but I'm kicking this back into gear. I'm a magician, and a cardist, whether I dedicate to it or not. It's in me now. The only question is how bad will I let myself deteriorate to, or how far I want to go into the rabbit hole. And as for that, well, right now there's a few more things in life that I want to focus on before going in to a single discipline. When I do though, I know it'll be awesome.

Dive,
--Badger

 

[Blaireau]

02.13.09-- Sleep

02.13.09-- Sleep




Cardistry


Overview


Time: 6:35AM – 8:50AM


Moves: Charlier Cut, Scissor Cut, Revolution Cut, Thumb Cut, Flutter, Wrist Twist,


Rounds: Single Hand Left/Right, Double Hand, Single Hand Left/Right Review, Double Hand Review, Double Hand Alternate, Double Hand Alternate Review, Single Hand Left (for Flutter, Wrist Twist)




Notes

• Review-- Completed in 1hr15min. Decided to work on 3P, Flutter, and Wrist Twist upon completion.
• 3P- Learned this move wrong, and wasn't in the mode to decode Jonas' Left/Right orientation. Will return shortly.
• Flutter-- Awesome little move. I need to smoothen it out and focus on that instead of speed.
• Wrist Twist-- Smoothness. Th deck flip is troublesome, but the cards do not rotate evenly yet. More work.

Details


What happened here? Well, I stayed up all night to my detriment, and when I figured I couldn't sleep decided to practice. Got in a good session, playing around with the review. When I finished that up decided to do some Harwin moves. Wrist Twist was a pain, and I had to re-do it over and over to get the flip right. I was going to do Corkscrew Closer but I ended up not getting to it because of Wrist Twist.


After practice though, I thought that if I did go with the original plan and check out Hollywood there would be a high probability of me getting lost, falling asleep in an unfamiliar area, and general recklessness. So I said screw it and went to sleep. Didn't practice magic today. I'm getting lazier and lazier.

 

[Blaireau]

02.16.09-- Hinting

02.16.09-- Hinting


Soundtrack: Lil' Wayne-- Mr. Carter http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Yt2DKs5JNE


Hey Mr. Carter, tell me where have you been. They've been asking they've been searching they've been wondering why.


I'm back. A denizen of the world raising hell in downtown and uptown and back again, 'cuz I'm a hooligan--a born King-- only to die, and resurrect again. This is me taking the globe with broadstrokes, hypnotising you with lightstrobes, and getting you to stomp your feet to my “DA-DA-DA-DA-DA-DA-DA” like the White Stripes. It's just right so don't choke on the white rice...and fly.


Ahem. Back to regular scheduled programming, laddies and gents.


I have spent two, no three days in exile. Friday, Saturday, and Sunday were festering pits of filth and muck in which I was sleepless, clueless, cardless, and senseless. I wasn't practicing, I wasn't thinking, I wasn't sleeping right, I wasn't eating right, I wasn't exercising, and in general, I was screwing everything up. I had regressed to the physical capacity of a 7 year old—tantrums and crapping the only things I could do. Only half-kidding; the above was drastically exaggerated for your reading pleasure, but I was in pretty bad shape.


Lex helped by bringing out the idea that in magic you express a side of your personality. And this is true. There's a lot to be said about the subject, but allow me to focus right now on what I was racking my brain with this weekend. Why do you do magic? WHY? That infernal question as to why. You started at some point because of something. And I'm willing to bet my left eye that anyone who has ever considered himself or herself a magician started after having felt magic. Ooooh...feel magic. I like that idea. But that magic, is not the magic that most “magicians” don't perform. Stay with me here for a second. Is the card coming to the top really magical? Is the transformation of her card to his card really magical? Is it? And why? How?


I started magic because of what I felt that one summer afternoon when my mind was blown and logic that I had held to be true was shattered. It was impossible. It was something that couldn't happen. I don't exactly remember what transpired afterwards, or what the thought process that went through my head was, but I became a demon possessed by an even greater demon. I devoured every book in the library that had to do with magic. I saw something impossible, and I wanted to do the impossible. Whether I can call that the right frame of mind or not, it's how I started. I experienced the impossible, and I wanted to do the impossible. I don't think it really had anything to do with anyone else around me, as much as it was with me and coming into greatness. All abstract concepts that are flawed, obviously—my approach wasn't healthy. I at the time, and perhaps to a point even now, believed that there was some “answer” that would make the impossible possible. Essentially, I wanted to be God.


But that's not what magic is about. That's not what magic is. And in fact, it's delusion to try and play that role, as I did and had been doing. I wanted to be impossible. But the impossible...is impossible! It really isn't possible. Now, there are those that will deem this to be a limited perspective, and I agree. Cellphones were impossible a hundred years ago, and meeting women was impossible two years ago ( ) I'm not speaking of discovering new avenues of thought and movement. I'm talking about pretending to do what you consciously know is something that you cannot do. I'm talking about putting yourself in the double bind of lying to an audience, because you have lied to yourself in solitude. Dude, no. You can't really levitate. You can't really read minds. So why play that? Because you are LYING. And your act will at some point in time, whether it be in the face of this spectator or that magician, or even worse the bathroom mirror as you look at yourself and ask, “What am I really doing?”, the illusion will be shattered. Obvious lie is obvious. A lie is a lie and is doomed to fail. Because it is not real, and what is not real cannot exist.


Sitting down on my bed, poring over the theory section of Card College, and writing out half-determinedly the reasons, I asked myself, “Why do I do magic?” And it all comes back to that one time...in church camp...when that one kid...did that one trick...and his name was Chris and his last name started with P so we called him Crispy... THAT, that was why I started. Because that one fine day I felt magic, and I wanted to feel it again. It's changed now, to a selfish thing. I want that feeling to be felt by all beings in this world, at some point or another. Ha! Take that, survival and replication. Us nerd magicians might not be able to replicate our puny physical bodies but we do replicate our ideas in long drawn out essays and internet memes. Score!


I do magic because I want people to feel what I felt. Because that experience is an amazing experience, and I think everyone should experience it. Redundance galore. This then begs the question, of what is magic. Well, we can separate magic into the cause, and the effect. The cause is all of the hard work, blood, sweat(y palms), tears (of blood by Robert Smith available now), practice, luck, moonshine, chavs, and emo music. The effect is what YOU AND your spectators experience. Which can be good or bad, err, objectively, pleasurable or excruciating. The industry, tricks, backstabbing, name calling, Max Maven's, Chris Kenner's, Homer Liwag's (as Shoot Ogawa), Phil Goldstein?'s, David Blaine, Criss Angel (NO! NOT THAT ONE! ERASE! Delete, delete, delete!!!), Paul Harris, and whatever or whoever else is the Magic, the cause. The emotions, the feelings, the love, the connection, the hugs and kisses and tears and making babies...that is Magic, the effect.


The cause is tangible and the effect is intangible. You have direct control over the cause—you can change sleights, patter, gimmicks, timing, and so on. You only have indirect control over the effect—you can lead the horse to water, but you cannot make it drink, and you can lead your audience to experience emotions but you can never dictate what they feel. A big problem I had done was keep these two separate, working only on the cause or focusing only on the effect, instead of seeing them as a coherent whole. They are the two sides of the magic coin, and anyone who wishes to take magic seriously will address them. I'm still clarifying this further in my mind, and this is only a start.


Whatever you do, do not get caught up in a single side. Know that magic would not be possible without both. Focusing on cause you will become a technician though you may never engage your audience on other than a superficial level. Focusing on effect you will become a preacher, giving heavy handed themes to the most trifling of sponges. As you do magic, keep in my why you are doing it. Otherwise, you will get lost in move monkey or melodrama land.


...Ah, but I get ahead of myself. All of this didn't come until later.


So what did happen?


Well, scoot in closer a little bit, and let me tell you.

 

[Blaireau]

02.16.09-- Hinting pt.2

Soundtrack: Bob Dylan-- House of the Rising Sun http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=49IzD9IE5Vc


I was awake at 6:00 in the morning, not having slept the past night. I was determined to go out and perform that day, and I knew that if I fell asleep I would not get up again. With this logic, I decided to stay up and think theory until it was time to go out.


8:00...cards in hand. Practice. Think.
-I was trying to figure out what I wanted to portray, and why I did magic.


9:00...cards in hand. Practice. Think.
-Thoughts weren't completely clear still.


10:00...Think. Write.
-I didn't know what I want yet, and I wasn't sure, but I forced myself to start writing.


11:00...Watch. Read. Think.
-What was I to write about? How could I have known what I wanted? I wasn't sure.


12:00...Watch. Read. Think.
-Reading, watching. My sources were those that knew, the greats. I looked over the Cuso interviews of cardists. I watched videos of magicians. I went on forums and read posts on theory. I listened to the Roundtable discussions on Theory11.


And then...I came across Andrei Jikh. I was more than impressed by his The'me, and I had seen the few videos that could be found on him previously. But I decided to learn more about him, and I found something that blew my mind away. This. His writing on creativity. And there it was, my answer. The two choices. You can either copy what other people do, and perhaps even do it better than them, or you can do what YOU do. HAHA!


I had it. This was what I was looking for. There's a quote, based off a small incident in The Fountainhead that I've come to carry. “Let me see it made real--that beauty that I know exists. Show me your glory, that I may have the strength to create my own.” And this was what I saw.


This was my answer.


Anything that anyone does is an extension of who they are. It is a part of them. And all art is expressing something from that person. It could be expressing something skillful, something creative, something copied, something inadequate, something insecure, something great, something weak, and the whole gamut of things that a human being can be. Whatever you express is simply what is true. It's neither good nor bad. But what you do is honest. It could be honest in it's expression of who you are, or who you have chosen to be. Yes, who you are, and who you chose to be. Or perhaps more accurately, who you think you are.


Some people express their skillful mastery over certain concepts and ideas originated by others. Some people express their creative wanderings whether or not it is understood.


I want to be myself. I do not want the undertakings of a Blaine, or the creativity of a Harris, or the webcam of a Haglund, or the visual madness of a Ho, or the single wordedness of a Madison, or the glamour of a Buck. Hell, I don't even want the creativity of a Jikh.


No. My magic, my cardistry, is going to represent me. Will I take ideas and concepts and moves from others? Yes. But what I'm going working towards is to be pure in the expression of myself, doing nothing that belongs to another. I'm not going to talk like Slydini, or look like Vernon, or think like McBride. Even if I could learn everything that everyone out there has ever done, it's still theirs. And as skillfully as I can perform it, and even if I do it better than the creator, and as much pride I can take in doing that, it still ultimately is theirs. I created nothing of my own, but followed a path.


No.


I will not follow the paths set before me. I will strike out my own, and walk diagonally.


[FONT=Nimbus Roman No9 L, serif]Video: Dead Poets Society-- YAWP http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DmNyv2Pddg4[/FONT]
[FONT=Nimbus Roman No9 L, serif]
[/FONT][FONT=Nimbus Roman No9 L, serif]"I went into the woods because I wanted to live deliberately. [/FONT][FONT=Nimbus Roman No9 L, serif]I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life ... to put to rout all that was not life; and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived.[/FONT][FONT=Nimbus Roman No9 L, serif]"[/FONT]


[FONT=Nimbus Roman No9 L, serif]I was ready.[/FONT]


[FONT=Nimbus Roman No9 L, serif]...[/FONT]


[FONT=Nimbus Roman No9 L, serif]To go to sleep.[/FONT]




[FONT=Nimbus Roman No9 L, serif]What time is it?[/FONT]


[FONT=Nimbus Roman No9 L, serif]...I fell asleep. Crap.[/FONT]


It's 4 o'clock. What am I going to do now? I've screwed up. Today's going to suck again, and I'm going to mess up tomorrow because I won't be able to go to sleep again, and this is bad. It wasn't supposed to be like this!


No.


You know what? No.


I'm not going to let this happeen.


I'm going.


Screw it.


And then and there, in heart of this young madman resounded a tiny yawp, desiring to be let out to grow into a ferocious and barbaric YAWP.


I shower and get dressed. It doesn't matter that I haven't eaten or exercised. This is priority number one.


I was out by 5 and on the bus. Where was I going?

 

[Blaireau]

02.16.09-- Hinting pt.3

Soundtrack: Lady Gaga-- Just Dance http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M65zI9LH-as

Hollywood.

I had nothing in my pockets but the bus pass and two decks of cards. A Streamline to practice with and a Ghost in a Porper for performance. I didn't have a setlist in mind. I wasn't ready.

But you know what? I've spent the last two weeks getting ready. No, not even. I've spent the last 17 years of my life preparing. And I never am ready. So screw it. I'm as ready as I'll ever be. I'm done waiting. This is my time, and I'm not wasting away hoping for another opportunity any longer. I'm going. And you know what? Everything in my life has led up to this. Literally. One moment leads to the next, right? Haha. So I am ready. It might be fore failure that I'm ready, and my ego being thrashed might be what's coming, but that's not under my control anymore.

I've set things in motion that cannot be reversed.

Okay.

So there I am, sitting in the bus, and I take out my cards. Now that the initial fury of not thinking has faded a little, what am I going to do? I don't know what I have. I'm trying to figure out what to do, but my mind wanders off and I end up fiddling. Cardistry. Obviously, this attracts attention.

The guy next to me is looking intently. I know this, and think about what I can do. Man, it's just cliché though. Everyone does colour changes for people that just notice. It's ridiculous. Finally, I turn to him.

Warm smile. “Hey, have you ever seen magic?”

He nods and smiles in return. Hmm? Not fluent in English.

Let me try something here.

I extend the cards and produce the four Aces. (I only get away with it because he wasn't entirely sure what was going on yet. Top Pop needs work.)

“I want you to see a card. Think of one.” He's confused. I dribble the cards and ask him to say stop. He notes a card.

Okay, now the four Aces. “Put these in your pocket”, I motion. He does so. “Now remember your card. Think of it.” Communication isn't top notch, and I'm looking at how stupid I am right now. Forge on. “Your card...it's a black card, isn't it.” Huh? “It's a Spade. And it's a middle card...Your card is the Six of Spades?” He doesn't understand at first, but I repeat myself and he gets it.

I do this part too fast, and if I had slowed down and focused a little better here, it would have had an even greater impact.

“Okay, now remember the cards I gave to you? The Aces? Check them out.”

And as he reaches in, taking the cards out to give it back to me, I tell him no, and to look at them. There, in the center of the cards is his one card, the Six of Spades.

Tango.

His exit. I wish him a nice day and close up.

In my head I'm critiquing it, Wasn't a great performance. Needs more. Do better. The effect is good though. I'm just going to have to play it out differently for next time.

Go back to cardistry mode and try some liquid.

Man, tomorrow isn't going to work out like I planned. Oh well.

I reach L.A. Union Station and have a look around. This place would look amazing in the daytime, packed with people. I'm going back here to perform. I'll call Kevin Ho and we'll make Portable Playground obsolete. xD

Here we go again.

Red Line.

I reach a train and find myself a seat. It's relatively empty, and the feelings always nice to be down here. Warm subway air. I've got my cards in hand and am doing some cardistry. The usual. There's two sheriffs on board, and big guy calls me over. “You're pretty good with those cards.”

I look up, “Yeah.” Walk over. “You guys ever see magic?”

“Yeah. Sure.”

Handshake. “My name's Kevin. What's your's, my good sir?”

Rick. The other officer gives me a fist knock. Haha.

“So I want to show you guys something here. A basic principle in card magic is switching—card switching. (In New York voice) Take a ca'hd, an-ey ca'hd. You too madame. Allright, I'm going to take your card back, and put it in the center, and put your card up on top. Watch. With just a wave, the cards switch places. Your card is now on top, and your card is in the center.”

Haha!

“Now how do we do this. If you take a card like this, watch. It changes.” Whoa, wait what just happened? That was cool. “Yeah. But...this is sleight of hand. And as much as I love it and practice it and do it a lot, it's sleight of hand. It's not magic. So this is what I do. Every time before I go out, I take a card and set it aside. And I think, if I was to see real magic, what would it be? And this is something that's sort of like coincidence--”

It's their stop, and I pause for a second and walk out with them.

Did you leave anything on the train? “Nah, I'm good.”

“So what I do is I picture myself performing for someone, and I think, what could would they possibly pick. What would happen? What could happen? And I take the card that I think they're going to pick out, and I set aside.” Here, I hand the deck box to his partner. “Say stop as I riffle down through the deck. Okay, now you see the box. There's a card over there, take a look at what it is.” Seven of Spades.

Whoa, that's very good man. Awesome.

“Thank you guys, have a good night.”

I walk off cards in hand and look around for my next possible set. Oohhh, there's a seated set of about 7 people in a middle platform. But I pass and get on the next train.

Here we go.

Here we go again.

Red Line.

As I stand on those familiar escalators brining me to my Terabithia, I close my eyes and breathe.

Breathe. Deep. Relax.

Ascending into the heavens, a blast of blizzard air hits my whole body, letting it know where I am.

Hollywood and Highland.

...and here.we.go.

 

[Blaireau]

02.16.09-- Hinting pt.4

Soundtrack: The Cardigans-- My Favorite Game http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=43qitcbdpvk


New setup. There are barriers all over the place, and the sidewalk is closed off in many areas to the general public. They also have tons of security around. I've never seen this before.


Walk around. See the sights. I'm letting myself get accustomed to the area before doing anything. Funny enough, I actually didn't use the restroom when I was there. That's like, special. My OCD didn't kick in. I pass by the Nestle store, walk around the back areas, walk into Mann's Chinese, step on MAAAAT DAAAAMON's mark at Grauman's, and check out the Virgin Megastore. At this point I'm only passively looking to do magic. Not really bothering or focusing too much about it. I'm getting distracted and looking to buy stuff instead of perform. Focus Kevin. Hot Topic. Should've performed there. Next time.


I need to get better at pulling the trigger. I've got to be focused in on what I want to do.


I head over to Gus's hot dog place, and on the way there's a stairwell that's blocked off. I pass by the two guards and nod. I wasn't planning on getting anything at the hot dog place, but it was an excuse to walk around. Then walk back. Past the two guards again. And by past them, I mean past them, to where I basically left.


No.


Pull the trigger.


STOP.


I turn around. Rock up. “Hey, let me ask you a question.” Sure man. “Have you ever...seen magic? See, I'm trying to figure out what real magic is about. What would you describe magic as?” Mysterious, magical. I mean, it's awesome stuff. I don't know how they do it, but it's cool to watch. “Yeah? Allright. See, I'm kind of a magician. You mind if I show you something?” Yeah man, for sure.


LAUNCH.


Kevin...you shouldn't have done that.


“Awesome. Take a card, any card, it doesn't matter. How about you man, take a card? Wanna join in on this?” I'm good. Just do it to him. “Allright, so I'm gonna have you take two cards. Were going to put one in the center, and one on top. Now, a basic principle, a basic idea in magic is switching. In this case card switching. So if you take a look, just like that the cards switch places. The card that was in the center is now on top, and the card on top is now in the center.” Whoa, that was cool man.


“Now, how do we do this. I'll show you...kinda. See the first thing you have to be able to do is make cards jump from hand, to hand, back to hand, and even to the center of the deck when necessary.”


Okay, that's not how that part went. Going into a Simple Switch, I kept on dropping cards. Added to the fact that it was raining, not a good thing.


It wasn't brilliant. I understand now that the illusion in this particular effect depends all on the casual skillful handling of the cards. It's very offhand, in that you do this looking at the spectator, not even focusing on what's going on in your hands. Without that belief that the cards are switching effortlessly, all you've got is a show of sleights. Simple Switch needs work.


I do believe I did a few more tricks, though I can't quite remember what they were and in what order. Probably colour changes and the like performed very poorly and without adequate reasoning. Needless to say it was not magical.


After that I launch into this convoluted speech about how, “But that's sleight of hand...and as much as I love it...it's not magic.” Eugh. The way it came out of my mouth quite disgusts me.


As I'm going into this and doing a prediction reveal, the guy behind him, some security dude or other stops me and says that they don't want to get in trouble. I understood that, and mid-speech I grab my cards and leave. I wish them a good night and walk away. No biggie.


That performance, because it was—sadly enough—a performance regardless of how bad it was, only survived because of the guy's ignorance. I'm not saying anything untrue or mean about him, it's not a judgment of character. But he was ignorant in that he knew nothing of the methods I was using to accomplish these effects. And so even poorly done he was clueless. This speaks a lot about me as a person and a performer. I don't even have a good grasp of what I perform.


I think it's a very lazy attitude that many magicians, myself included, to rely simply on the tricks. There's a method, it's brilliant, it works, it even comes with patter and presentation as done by so and so magician. We rely on the effect to carry us through, we rely on the creative mind of the publisher to get to the audience, and we shut off our minds and don't think and don't ask. We simply parrot and copy what has been done before and use it for personal egoic gain. Instead of expressing yourself as an artist, you copy what other artists have done and pass it off as your own. And correct me if I'm wrong but...that's plagiarismo, it's theft. You haven't really added or done anything new. Sure, you change a couple words here and there, and maybe thrown in a sentence about how your mother was incestuous, and maybe even change X sleight for Y sleight. But an apron and and uniform does not a waiter make. Just because you can do this or do that doesn't make you a magician. Magic starts off in the head, in your mind, with your creative process, and your ideas of what is impossible and magical.


Whoo...rant enough there buddy?

Walk, walk, walk. I'm walking around H&H, sorta looking for performance opportunities, sorta distracted by the hot chicks. Hey, what can I say? It's tourist town and there are a lot of beautiful women here. Especially tonight. I mean...what is up with this?


...Seriously? Geez. I'm supposed to be here performing. Quit distracting me.


There, passing by me was a gorgeous set of five British girls. Accents galore. My concentration on magic was severely shaken by the simple presence of such stunning speech. And looking dumbfounded, I walk by, thinking about what I could perform, stop at the ledge overlooking the night sky, and stand there looking cool. When I finally figure out what I want to do and get my deck ready, said beauties were nowhere in sight. I think they vanished into the abysmal depths of the movie theatres.


Shoot me now. Kevin, you have got to get better at pulling the trigger. If you're not gonna go for it, you're gonna be missing out on a lot of opportunities.


So I walk on, somewhat put off by my slowness. But then another set of Brits pass me by.


Okay, this is unprecedented. I know I haven't been here in a while, but what the heck? First the Oscar prep, then Brits swirling? Hey look! There's another set of them. Dude, what?


There must have been at least four sets of five Brits that I passed by. And DID NOT talk to.


Still missing gonads, I see.


But I was there for magic, not girls. Clear your head K. Come on. Let's go.


OH! Second chance arises.


There was the original set of glory, sitting comfortably on a bench in front of Mann's 6 Theatre. One shot. This is your moment. Let's go.

 

[Blaireau]

02.16.09-- Hinting pt.5

Soundtrack: Clinic-- Come Into Our Room http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=azZ-GITo05U


Let's go.


'Sko.


Skoskoskoskosko!


Walk up. Walk past. Stop. Backturn.


“Hey, let me ask you guys a question.” My eyes turn to the sky as my head follows suit, gazing away from their direction.


“Have any of you guys ever seen...magic?” My body facing towards them, silently tense, I speak with my eyes winking conspiratorially at an angle. The words pause as my eyes move to think, them glares at them in turn searching for an answer.


Magic? What do you mean? At first there is confusion as to the question. I feel their attention turn towards me and a slight pause in the bustle of the night.


“Yes, magic. As in...” My words trail off into uncertainty. I wasn't sure what to say. “Well, that's what I was coming here to ask, was whether or not you guys have seen magic and what you thought of it,” says the fast paced talking guy who fails and breaks valuable tension.


Well, yes. Like on T.V. And stuff. But never in person. Are you going to do magic? Is he going to do magic? Their words pick up to match mine, a somewhat hyperactive voicing of thoughts.


“Maybe later. But first, if you guys could describe magic, what would you say it is? What do you think it is?” Here my words trail off again, though I may have interjected some adjectives as given by the previous spectator. I cut off their question as irrelevances—my main focus really was on finding an answer to what people thought magic is. I needed to know for myself.


Magical. “Oh well that's just brilliant.” retorted Badger, in a somewhat accented voice. It was affecting me already.


Are you going to do some magic for us? In my head I could only think, yes, you gorgeous ADD squirrel you. I will.


“Sorta. I'm a kind of magician.” Seriously? This reliance on gimmick words that you don't fully comprehend is detrimental Kevin. “But first, allow me to introduce myself. I'm Kevin, what are your names?” Oh yes, no Badger. I introduced myself as Kevin. Hmmm?


I'm Sophie. “Sophie.” Becky. “Becca?” No, Becky. “It's a pleasure.” I'm Kirsten. “Excuse me? What was that?” Kirsten. “Kirsty?” No, Kirsten. “Apologies. Kirsten.” Yes. “And you madame?” I'm Micalah. That's a beautiful name.


Becky: Oh, she's got a beautiful name? What about mine? “Hers is just more unusual.”


And so it begins.


“We're going to do a little lesson in card switching.” Wait, wait. Do we have to pay you? In an utterly flabbergasted and offended voice, “No. No, not at all.” Good.


I'm trying to start this show with a top and center card switch. But I'm having to speak really loud and keep these girls attention. Oohhh...I like a challenge.


Some guy comes in with a drink and some popcorn for them. I assume it's their friend, he seems likeable enough, but as I figure out later when he speaks, he's not with them and he's not British. Whoa. I introduce myself, his name's Chris, and he's interested in seeing some magic. “Cool. Let's do this.”


“So what I'm going to have you guys do is pick a card. How about you”? Sophie: Oh what kind of cards are those? Do you want to play a game? What was it called again? 30 pickup? Kirsten: It's 52 pickup. Sophie: Yeah. Do you want to play? “I just lost the game.” Becky: He knows about the game. Now I just lost. “Haha. Have you guys heard of Birdman?” I throw up the sign but there's no recognition. “No? You don't know? Nevermind then.”


Sophie: Come on, you want yo play 52 pickup? “I know what 52 pickup is and no, we're not playing 52 card pickup.” Sophie: But it's fun. Come on, let's play. You want to play 52 pickup? “No. We're not playing 52 pickup. And you're going to have to pick up my cards.” Sophie: Why? “Because you're going to throw them. You're gonna have to pick them up.” This is fun. Not what I'm here to do, but fun, regardless. Sophie: Fine. “Here, give me these cards, and you can hold these for now.” I take the Ghost from her and hand her the Streamline. Keeps her hands busy.


“Allright, so what we're going to do is I want tow of you to pick a card. How about you and...”


***A CHALLENGER APPEARS***


This one black dude comes out of nowhere and starts chatting these girls up. I'm in the middle of starting a trick, and this guy, this guy...man. This guy comes out of nowhere and starts talking about something. The girls start talking about how they have to see a movie later, and this guy's like, “Cool, cool. Aaite ya kno you me go see sumtin. A lil sumtin sumtin.” And I'm just like...LMAO. Do not come into my set and cut into a show. If it's personal, then barge right in, that's fair play. But not my performance.


...::ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. I HAVE HAD IT WITH THESE MOTHAEFFIN SNAKES ON THIS MOTHAEFFIN PLANE. EVERYBODY STRAP IN.::...


“Oh yeah man? That's cool.” Hey buddy. This is called Jailbait. Your 6 feet and however old you are don't got nothing on me. Don't walk into my performance man.


Seriously though. I'm laughing my ass off. This wasn't serious business. This was some dude trying to pick up JailBrits. Hey, I can't blame him. They were hot. But he picked the wrong day to walk into the wrong guy.


He's mouthing off some general crap and I'm just nodding off absently giving him my approval. He can't hook because I'm already in and fades into the background with little damage done.


***A CHALLENGER DISAPPEARS***


Chris: Let the guy do some magic. Kirsten: Yes, I want to see some magic too. Becky: Get to it then. “Well if you guys could stop interrupting, we might actually get something done here.” Becky: We've got a haf an hour until the movie starts. We don't have much time. “That's perfect. Let's do this.”


“So I'm going to have two of you take a card. How about you take a card, and you take one? Okay, you know what, how about take a card instead.” I try to hand Sophie one but she's not paying attention, so we have Becky and Kirsten take cards. “Allright, now hand them back to me.” I know, I know. This should have been eliminated and the cards not even taken out of the deck. “Ill take your card and leave it on top, and take your card and leave it sticking out in the center. What we're gonna do here is a little lesson in switching. You see, if I push the cards in and just dribble, they switch and change positions.”


Becky: But that's easy I can do that. You just took half the pack and switched it. Adorable accent, accurate assessment. I flashed. The others are all looking somewhat confused. “Ah...yeah. No, no. She's absolutely right. Good eye.” I shrug and let her know that it's true.


“It's sleight of hand. So let's try something here. Take a card.” Kirsten takes one. “Allright, now it's okay if I see this card. Hand it back to me. So what I'm going to do is I'm going to take this card away from the deck, and just like that...it changes.” Colour change. Becky: And the card is under that card. Hah. Don't interrupt. “And if you're looking for the other card. It's actually been face up in the center of the deck all along.” Chris: Whoa. Now that was good. Becky: I like that one. That's the best one yet. Kirsten: That was nice. Sophie: What just happened? Mikayla was the spectator of the group.


Becky: are those trick cards? “Um...actually yes. If you take a look, they all turn blank. But then they change back again.” Becky: Let me see that again. Sophie: Do you have a cigarette? (To Kirsten) They all light up and breathe in as I walk away and try not to get smoke all over me. “Yeah, that's just brilliant.” I'm picking up the accent.


Sophie: Here, you can have your cards back. “Thank you madame.” I place it in my back pocket and...

 

[Blaireau]

02.16.09-- Hinting pt.6

***We interrupt your normal programming to ask for some cigarettes.***


This lady then shows up and asks the girls for a smoke.


Of course, our kind hearted maidens willingly oblige, and they're all having a great time smoking fags. How lovely.


***A CHALLENGER REAPPEARS***


And that's not all. Our Jailbait Chaser returns. This time a little more focused. He knows he's got to go in for the kill and get their numbers or at the very least bounce to a different venue. He starts talking about the movies, and I think he mentions “Friday the 13th”. I auto response, “Yeah, man. That's cool,” and then somehow launch into “Coraline. I do not know exactly what took place here, “You know what's a good movie? Coraline. I've wanted to see that for a while.” Dude actually responds to what I said and gets sidetracked. I'm just looking at all of this pass by in a blur. He ends up leaving with nothing.


***A CHALLENGER DISAPPEARS***


As he's walking away, the girls are all giggly and I turn to Chris and say “Ladies and Gentlemen, this is what we call Buying Temperature HIGH.” None of them get it, but I've got a turd swallowing smile. This was just the funniest thing ever to me.


And then I face the lady in red, now also smoking, and we're both laughing our asses off. I don't get it, I really don't, but somehow she says something that prompts me to laugh and give a bearhug and lift her up.


...Yeah. M'kay.


Chris: Hey man. I'm sorry. I feel for you. I'm a musician and it sucks when the audience is like this. Haha that's awesome. “Yeah man. It's cool.” I give him a bro-hug (wtf???) and pat him on his back. Thanks. Chris: Come on, I wanna see some magic, you guys.


***And back to our regular programming, now with Chris, JailBrits, and the lady in red***


Sophie: Why don't you do something for me? You've had them do stuff? “Because you've been focused on something else. You want to do something? Sophie: Can I take a card? “Sure, go ahead. Now take a look at it, remember it, and show it to everyone.” I turn my back and think about adding Stigmata, but my hands weren't equipped. “Perfect. You guys all know the card? Now put it back somewhere in the deck. Allright, let me help you out here.” Good. “I don't know what your card is, or where it is. And here, I'll even shuffle the cards.” Becky: Can I shuffle them? “You want to shuffle them?” Kirsten: We've got to go. Becky: No, nevermind, it's fine. “Allright,” turn to Mikayla, “you know what the card is right? Okay, well I want you to name a number between 1 and 52...err...54.” Mikayla: Ummm... Sophie: How about 36? Becky: 36 “Is that cool with you guys? 36?” Yeah. “Give me your hands.” Sophie. “Take a look.”


1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12,13,14,15,16,17,18,19,20...


21,22,23,24,25,26,27,28,28,29,30


31,32,


33.


34.


35.


And the 36th card...


To Becky. “Hold out your hand.”


To Sophie. “What was your card?”


Sophie: The Ace of Hearts


I deal the card on Becky's hand, but it flutters down to the floor. She looks at me like whoa, and I don't register the rest of their reactions.


Chris gets up to leave, and shakes my hand. Chris: Good job man. See you around. Thanks.


The lady in red looks on and moves away laughing.


Becky: Thanks. We've got to go see a movie now.


“Have a good night you guys. Thank you.”


I give Kirsten a hug, then Becky, followed by Sophie and Mikayla, and wish them a good night.


Walk away, cards in pocket, to the expanse that is H&H.


...

 

[Blaireau]

02.16.09-- Hinting pt.7

Soundtrack: Coldplay-- Violet Hill http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IakDItZ7f7Q


Good.


Performance over. What was wrong? The last card dealt fell onto the floor. Bottoms need word. Dribble Pass should be invisible. The guys were handled well. The performance was subpar and mediocre. Need to do better next time. Wasn't horrible though, so I'm alive.


The worst thing about that performance was the lack of a direction. I wasn't moving towards a conclusion. There were no highlights because there was nothing emphasised. Everything was given equal attention, and there was a flurry of activity, so the focus was on nothing in particular. If you move a lot, the attention will be scattered. If you make your movements slow, scarce, and sultry, the effect will be much more.


After that, I walk around some more, looking for a next performance. I end up not doing anything though, and just walk back to the Redline.


I get to Union Station and decide to take the 490 back. It's late though, and the I don't know the bus schedule. I end up having to wait for a good hour before anything comes. When the bus comes, I end up talking to the some of the people that were on there about bus schedules and whatnot. It's been a good day. I'm relaxing and just sitting there having a good time. By impulse I take my cards out and work on cardistry. As expected this draws some attention, but I minimise it for the time being.


I get to my station, and it turns out that two other people that I was talking to have to wait with me. One of them is Annie, this Amazonian of a woman, and Juan, your average 42 something in-between jobs. They were cool people, and it was refreshing to talk to them. There was something very real about them, and the things we talked about and the simple enjoyment of a conversation with strangers was almost breathtaking. It was quite surreal—as if this could have been a scene from a movie. Me, some kid with eyes wide open breathing in the cold air and the experiences of these two elders, Annie, sharing her travels and opinions about Japan and living in a military base, and Juan listening intently as if drinking from the fountain of knowledge. It was very, very cool.


Somewhere in the middle of all the talk about Japan and fish and Sweden and turning a profit, they bring up how I was handling the cards. I mention that I'm somewhat of a magician, and it was decided that a small performance was in order.


Perfect. This wasn't something I was coerced into doing, or something that I forced out to be a performance, but rather the natural course of action that would have come out of that night. We were strangers getting to know each other and it was my part to share.


“I'm going to show you guys a little lesson in magic. Switching, is a, a main principle and idea. It's the basic thing you learn as a magician.” Instant Replay. “At first you learn to make a card move from hand, to hand, to hand, and even back to the center of the deck.” Simple Switch. “Then you learn to make two cards switch at once.” Dribble Pass routine. “Let's have both of you take a card, so you take one, and you take one. Okay. It's fine if I see these cards, so I'm going to take your card and put it in the center, and place your card on top. And you can see it's really in the center. Just like this though, it moves to the top. And the cards switch positions.” Little reaction, the effect is mildly amusing and somewhat confusing. “Now from there, we can do this.” Colour Change. “If you take a card, even if you move it away from the deck, take a close and watch. It changes.” Juan: Whoa. Do that again. Annie:Wait, what just happened. That was good, that was cool. I saw that happen. “And if you're looking for the other card, it's actually been in the center all along.”


Two Card Monte. “Now, let's try this. I'm going to take two cards, the two aces. First, I'm going to put the Ace of Clubs in your hand. Then I'm going to take the Ace of Spades and actually switch it with your card. And then I'm going to give you (Annie) the Ace of Clubs. Now here's the idea. I'm going to switch both of your cards, so that you (Juan) have the Ace of Clubs and you (Annie) have the Ace of Spades....Okay, actually no. I'm lying. Check your cards.” Annie: Okay, I saw you switch my card, but I didn't see how you switched his.


Top change practice is in order.


“Allright. I want to try one more thing. Shuffle the cards as much as you want okay.” What's the plot, how am I presenting this? “Okay good. Here, actually, hold this (the box). Before I left the house, actually any time I go out and know that I'm going to perform, I sit down and I think...I think, if I was going to perform for someone, and they were going to take a card, what card would it be.” Spread through the cards face up. “I sit down and picture which of these cards would the person pick, if they could pick any card at all. And then I set a card aside, and actually put it in the box. Don't worry about that for now. Okay. Allright. Annie, I want you to think of a card. So I'm going to riffle down the side of the deck, and I want you to stay stop somewhere. Say stop.” Annie: Say stop? Stop. “Okay. You want to stick to this card, not the one I can see, but the one face down, or do you want to change it?” Annie: Change it. “Okay. Say stop somewhere.” Annie: Stop. “You good? Take that card. Perfect. Actually, you take the deck also, and put it back in and shuffle them as much as you want. We don't even need the deck anymore.” Pause. “Okay. Remember what I said about taking a card out, and putting it in the box? There's actually a single card between the box and the plastic. Take a look.”


Annie: No way. If you do this, then there's something not right. Where is it? Where? Here. Oh...my. But I was holding the box the whole time. There must be some kind of doubles or something.


“No, not at all. Remember what I said earlier about the cards.”


Her card, was the Two of Spades. Slowly, she pulls out the predicted card, a signed card, with Badger written on it. However, she remarks only the Two of Spades, and to my fortune, believes that I somehow made the card travel from Juan's hands to the box that had been in her hands. Well, I misunderstand at first and try to correct her, but I realise what she means and let her believe the better version.


Annie: Now that was cool. That was the best one yet.


I put the cards away and we continue talking. They of course ask all the background questions as to how long I'd been doing it and where do I learn things from and what does it take to do this. It was a small moment of brilliance in an even better night. Three strangers whose paths cross for but a pulse in time.


Soundtrack: Green Day-- Boulevard of Broken Dreams http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hmJTDPXQwJ0


My bus comes later on. The night air feels cold on my face, and the warmth of the bus is welcomed as change. I lay across two seats and rest my back against the wall, smiling at a well experienced night. I danced a bit in the bus the ride back, and all of it was enjoyable. Tonight was a night well spent, and I don't regret any of it.


Now...onto tomorrow.


Lykke Li, live at The Glass House.


Bless,
--Badger

 

[praetoritevong]

“Hi, my name's Badger. I'm a magician, and I'd like to show you guys something if you don't mind.” There's 5 of them, 2 guys, 3 girls, and one of the girls respond enthusiastically. “Yeah, sure.” I break into entertainer guy mode and pull out my cards. Transpo trick again. “That was cool.” And here, I interject with the “context setting humour” speech I had been preparing as I was walking through the restaurants earlier. “Now, a question you might ask, is why. Why, why, why on Earth would you go out in the freezing cold of night take 52-54 pieces of pasteboard out of your ass and humiliate yourself in front of strangers?” Yeah, that was supposed to be funny? “Two words. Attention whore. I never got much attention from my mom....*mumble mumble*” The prepared speech falls flat as she asks me, “Really, you like attention?” I answer with some pseudo-self defacement that also falls flat. Jeez. After that the whole thing was contrived and plastic. Nothing I did or said was funny because I was going off of a script. It was pathetic. They were only half attentive, and the only way it would have gone worse if I started hitting on one of them. I go through the rest of the motions, doing a colour change and Ttivo var. that was supposed to be all about “Card Switching”. That was the motif for the performance. After I had finished the prepared script, I couldn't stop because they weren't reacting right. Yeah, they wanted to see more but my main reason was because they weren't reacting right. Why weren't they laughing? Why aren't they stunned in awesomeness? What was I doing wrong? I kept on going, hoping that I could salvage the performance. One of the guys turns out to be an orbiter and leaves, but is replaced by another one of their friends. “You missed out my Card Switching speech earlier.” Eugh...this wasn't going well. On the other hand, it wasn't going too terribly so I forged on. I started on a note about “coincidence, predestination, that sort of thing” and one of the guys chime in with “Divine Intervention”. I then head off to doing an ACAAN and a prediction. To end, well...I really didn't know what to do. In conjunction with all the rest of the contrived and coagulated clots of magical vomit I had earlier performed, I pulled out a Barcode Reveal. Oohhh...The only problem was, one of the guys was smart enough to have recognized the lettering from before and said so openly. Stupidity nor present in spectators, stupidity present in so-called-magician. If by magician you meant wannabewithoutanyrealskillswhatsoever, then yes, I am a magician. After their utter non-amazement at all the tricks that I had performed, I bowed ever so gracefully and in yet another self-defacing stab laughed, “Thank you guys for tolerating my impish acts. Have a goodnight.” Ouch.

It was meant humorously but it couldn't have been more true.

So, as I walked back home convinced that I couldn't have found another set that night, I looked over the night. It wasn't great. BUT! And this is a big but for me, it wasn't horrible either. Yeah sure, the performance was pretty bad. However, it could have gone any of a million ways and it wasn't the worst. At least no one caught on fire or was revealed to have been caught in a sex-act on film in front of millions. I live. And I live to learn and come again another day.


Now, that said, what was wrong? Aside from performing pretty much the way that I hated all of the things that I hated in magic, it was the context. I had no reason to perform other than a justcuz. And then there was no setting for the tricks other than dancing monkey here to entertain you. It wasn't even entertaining. Before I can perform again I need to know why and what I am performing for. And every trick needs a context. It's an essay. The tricks are the paragraphs providing evidence for the conclusion you are trying to draw. Lex's vocabulary was an incomplete definition. A performance is an essay, an article, a show. It gives the audience something, whether it be an expansion of knowledge or a new look at an old concept. Or, like in the performance tonight it can be a gibberish essay jumping from one sentence to another with little or no coherenee.

Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Nam vehicula. Nullam lacinia, eros malesuada pulvinar gravida, sem ipsum ultricies elit, vitae auctor ligula nisi eu lectus. Curabitur vel diam. Mauris mollis mauris et tellus. Donec porta gravida tortor. Morbi bibendum velit non elit. Fusce nisi tellus, dapibus vitae, tristique sed, porta eu, est. Integer consequat sollicitudin ipsum. Etiam commodo consequat nisi. Sed malesuada vehicula orci. Integer pellentesque consequat risus. In lectus nulla, imperdiet sed, tempus at, sodales eu, turpis. Aliquam sit amet metus. Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Sed urna. Aliquam sodales massa quis enim. Curabitur vestibulum. Sed pulvinar sodales lectus. Suspendisse nunc orci, consectetur eget, tristique ac, porttitor ac, nisl.

So tonight's done. I took one performance, I owe five. Tomorrow I'm heading over to Hollywood and doing 8. Doesn't matter if it sucks or not, I'm taking my licks now. Again, I will not let Tuesday fail.

I've got an idea about the character I'm looking to portray. Well, not portray. Rather, allow to let out. Instead of focusing on one aspect and making that the blatant idea, I'm going to let it flow in what I'm doing as a natural thing. That way, if I need to respond to the audience—which being a magician I cannot only respond but communicate—it will not be forced.

Failure 2. Bager 0. For now.

Darn it, I used to study Latin for a few years. My Latin may be fail now, but did that passage by any chance make sense, properly translated?

Sorry I haven't read this thread in a while, but keep it up man, you're doing great.

 

[Lex]

Darn it, I used to study Latin for a few years. My Latin may be fail now, but did that passage by any chance make sense, properly translated?

Lorem ipsum, as I understand it, is a mocked-up Latin that is used as fill-text, often by graphic designers who need to see what text will look like on a page before they have the actual text that is going to go in. To the best of my understanding, it is deliberate nonsense.

 

[Lex]

Glad to see you're back out there, Badger, and gladder to see you had a good night.

As Tarvi pointed out (over on Dan and Dave's forums), I think you're moving closer to discovering your own approach. You've got your theme (card switching), and some ideas on how to break it into a conversation with strangers. That's a lot of progress in a relatively short time. (And I'm focusing more on the performance portions, not the practice. Go on with your bad self with the practicing. )

Based on this last set of posts and your commentary, I have two reflections for your consideration:

1. FOCUS

You mentioned several times being distracted--by curvaceous beauties, by potential scene-stealers, and even by thinking about how to approach the performance. This last one was the most interesting to me: in a sense, you're so focused on the meta-aspects of the performance--how to approach, what to say, how to interact--that you get distracted from actually performing. It seems like you might not be "in the moment," as it were.

Being right there with your audience is key, I think. For the time you are performing, they are the most important people in the world, right there in front of you. (And yes, I know this is in tension with some of what we've talked about before regarding analyzing what you are projecting to the audience and who they might be. Totally opposite advice: this is why performing (in any context) is harder work than many people think. The analysis has to become so instinctive that it doesn't get in the way of your actual performance.)

Now I'm going to make a suggestion that might sound mean, but it really isn't, and certainly isn't intended that way: it's less important to capture the detail for these posts than it is to experience it firsthand. Are you separating yourself from the experience by trying to remember all the details you can in order to recount it later? Do you sort of have a video camera running in the back of your head, thinking of how to narrate what is going on?

If you don't, then great. But if you do, consider turning off the mental video camera. The detail is very entertaining to read, but I worry that it might actually be distracting you from your actual performances. I'm definitely not saying "don't post these stories": I'm suggesting that you make sure the primary focus is on the performance, not on us. You can trust that your memory will capture all of the important parts afterward for your recounting. You may not remember every detail afterward, but you will remember the most important ones to you.

2. REFINE

And this sort of leads to the next reflection: after one starts discovering one's own style, the next step is to refine it. Eschew excess. Pursue clarity. "Show, Don't Tell." This goes for trick selection, patter, and even other details.

For example: your trick selection seems to have influenced your approach to your audience: this is about card switching. Here's a next step that may be useful (or may not!): make that relevant to them. "Card switching" is sort of a magician's term. How might that concept be relevant to a non-magician?

"Dude, got a light? Thanks. I had a lighter in my pocket when I left, but it's gone, dunno where it went. I've had the worst time trying to keep track of things. You too? Hmpf. That's weird. Hey, lemme try something. I'm also a magician--yeah, I know, 'keep your day job'--here, hold onto a card for a sec . . . ."

That's just one idea--there are gazillions.

But how is this refinement? It seems like you're just adding another layer.

I'd disagree. By referring to it with the technical-sounding term "card switching," you're still in the magicians' world, and are pulling the audience into it (and out of their own) and showing wonders. The two worlds are next to each other, but not quite brought together. You bring the audience into your world, lead them to a few astonishments, then take them back and wave goodbye.

By making that very same concept relevant to them directly, you are entering their world but bringing the magicians' world with you without telling them. From the audience's perspective, you're not asking them to step quite as far (or anywhere, for that matter), even though you are leading them even farther, if that makes sense. From the perspective of the audience member, this would probably appear more refined: they have less of a sense that they are making a conscious mental shift into someone else's world, but nevertheless, there you are, performing miracles.

"Always Leave Them Wanting More." Part of refinement is not blowing everything on one performance. Make sure that if you run into the same benchful of lovelies the very next night, you will still have something amazing to show them--and that they will be running up to ask you to see it, rather than you having to approach them. This may even mean ending even when you feel like doing more, and even when the audience is begging for more. Give them one more--and it should be something spectacular that you save for this purpose--then say au revoir.

Enough from me. (Talk about form not following function!) These are just a couple of thoughts based on the last series of posts.