Josh,
I think for a demo just showing your magic it's just fine. However, if you want to use your demo to get gigs, I think it needs a bit of work. The first shot is some college kids hanging out in a kitchen. The assumption anyone watching is going to make is that you are just hanging out in your buddy's kitchen performing magic for some friends. In one of the clips you are in shorts--cut that one. If you want to get professional work with your demo it needs to look like you are a professional performing in a paid setting (whether you are or not), not a hobbyist doing magic for your friends at a college keg party.
I'd suggest getting dressed up (as you were in most of the shots in your demo--kudos) and going out with your friends to a bar or restaurant and getting some footage there. You will look the part of the professional and you will be performing in an environment your potential clients will liken to their own venue. You want your potential clients to see your footage and imagine you doing those same things in their establishment with their customers/attendees--so looking the part and performing in a similar environment for similar people you want to be hired to perform for is important when you're trying to sell yourself. You want to brand yourself as a paid professional, not a college hobbyist (not that you are, but you want to avoid that perception).
I know you have some good footage from around your college campus and some friends' houses, but I'd really suggest keeping that footage to a minimum in your demo. Also, for a demo, I'd suggest keeping it to 2-3 minutes. Take the absolute best of the best and keep it tight--you don't have to show everything. I'm sure you have a lot more footage you're proud of, and you can still use it in promoting yourself--just make separate performance videos and if anyone is interested in seeing more they can click on those. Maybe one or two effects in each video. The demo, though, needs to be tight and to the point--you don't want people to avoid clicking on it because it's "too long" or have them get bored watching--you want to leave them wanting more, not feeling they saw more than they needed to.
Glad to see you're pursuing this as much as you are and working hard. You seem like you're really making some serious progress. Keep up the good work, man.
