It is undoubtedly something we've all come across at some point in our magic journey - self doubt. "Am I any good? Surely, there are many who are better in technique and performance than myself. I don't have that much talent."
To expand, why even perform magic? Are there people who are just not cut out to be magicians, despite hours and hours of dedication and practice? If so, how would you even be able to judge such a thing? How can we overcome self doubt?
I want to quote a coach of mine, it was the first year my high school had a lacrosse team and I was on JV.
"They're more prepared, have been playing longer, are undoubtedly in better shape, have better skills, and you know what? You all are going to beat them tonight." -Coach T.
After losing the first 5 or so games that season our morale was pretty low. Even when you know it's your first year and these guys have been playing for at least 2 or 3, it still gets to you. Seeing someone who is head and shoulders above you in skill can intimidate, demoralize, and even scare you, in both sports and in magic.
You practice and practice and watch self-recordings and think 'hey, I'm getting pretty good at this cups'n'balls thing' and two minutes later on youtube see Michael Ammar perform his routine and just think of how Bad you are at yours.
On top of that you have to compete with magicians that other people have seen, David Blaine, Criss Angel, Copperfield (to name a few.). These thoughts are not good thoughts. Try, try again...fall flat on your face, brush the dirt off and still can't get it right.
It's moments like those that make you want to quit what you're doing. There is no profit, people are heckling and making fun of you, there are so many other performers who are better, and you just know you won't make it.
Want my advice?
Go perform a self-working miracle to some people at a coffee shop. Do something amazing...ly simple. Self-esteem is easy to build up. Perform a key-card effect or the glide and build it up into something impossible. Take the praise and let it feel good.
The down side, praise will go to your head. Ego's destroy successful people. It's easier to destroy rather than to build up. Magic is a cruel mother...well you get the point.
The difference is attitude. Positive feedback brings you confidence and a positive attitude towards magic. Negative, unconstructive, criticism leads you to doubt and sometimes you get angry or hate the art.
In essence:Your mind is your most powerful tool. Thinking positive thoughts will help you to act positive. Thinking negative thoughts will only bring you down further. The world is exactly what you make of it, whether good or bad, and every situation for that matter.
I hope that all binds together, as it's almost 1 am.
-Rik
Oh! We lost that game, but we did score the first goals of Northern Durham High Schools JV Lacrosse team that night.
