Funny Gig Stories...Let's Hear Em'

[RickEverhart]

Most of us whether beginners or professionals have had some gigs where some crazy stuff has happened. I'll start.

First magic show I ever performed at a child's birthday party. I arrive to the home in my suit and have all of my props ready to roll. I'm already a nervous wreck and it is hot outside so I'm sweating like crazy. I'm trying to find a parking spot on the street but both sides of the street are bumper to bumper and I can tell I'm at the right location. I see a massive crowd out in the driveway and begin to get worried that the client double booked and there are two magicians here now. Ugh..my heart is racing. I find a spot at the end of the road and park. I lug my stuff down the street and to my utter amazement, I see kids yelling and screaming and a live monkey act going on at the party. The client comes over to me and apologizes that I will not be able to start on time that the "monkey act guy" showed up late and that I am to wait til his show is over. I'm thinking to myself, "What in the hell is going on here? My first magic gig and I'm following a trained monkey act."

I seriously have about 3 other ones that are just as crazy but I'll share them maybe later.

 

[Luis Vega]

I Have a very good one...it`s not funny..well kinda...I`ll share later...in my Urban Legend Chronicles

 

[Lyle Borders]

Public library teen reading program. I am schedules to perform for 30ish teens for an hour. I arrive to find flocks of 5-8 year old. I have a gambling centered routine, not a kids show. Needless to say I am not prepared. I scrapped my set after 10 min of poor reactions to my modifications. I then simply improvised for the wretched remainder of the time.

Do your homework.

L

 

[rich23]

i was doing this gig about a year ago on a yacht now keep in mind i have been on boats hundreds of times
but for some reason on that day during my sponge ball routine i started to get sea sick (the first and only time)
so i stop what im doing and try to make my way to the restroom to vomit...i never made it i let it go over the side of
the boat. it was no fun at the time but know that i look back it was kind of funny

 

[RickEverhart]

Lyle...that is a good one. I bet you had a sick feeling in your stomach when you walked in and saw the youngsters instead of the teens....wow.

Rich, did you seriously puke over the boat in front of the audience....or did you at least make it far enough away?

 

[rich23]

Lyle...that is a good one. I bet you had a sick feeling in your stomach when you walked in and saw the youngsters instead of the teens....wow.

Rich, did you seriously puke over the boat in front of the audience....or did you at least make it far enough away?

I was able to get far enough away from everyone so no one saw me.... well if someone did they did not say anything

 

[RickEverhart]

Alright a few more of mine.

I'm walking up the drive way of another child's birthday party gig with both hands full, carrying my case and a table. An older woman who appears to be in her 70's or 80's walks up to me and asks, "Are you the birthday party magician?" "Yes"...I reply. She laughs and then pulls out a squirt gun from behind her back and proceeds to shoot me twice in the chest and walks away laughing. I just stood there like, "Did that just happen?"

Another time I'm performing for at a child's birthday party and it is in a bad section of town. We are talking like boarded up windows, cars on blocks, etc. Now I'm not racist but lets just say it was for an African American family and the guys sitting in the living room were smoking pot and looked to be in a gang. They didn't bother me at all and any time I asked them something like, "Where would you like me to set up...blah blah blah?"...they just stared at me like. Then in the middle of my show 4 of them get up and go walking right in front of me and the kids and go outside to stand by my new black explorer. As I'm performing for the kids I'm trying to watch out the screen door if they are breaking into my car or not. Needless to say I was a little worried and was just hoping that I was getting cash for the show and getting the heck out of there.

 

[RickEverhart]

Here's another one I just remembered as well.

I'm performing at a wedding reception and I go up to the brides father to show him an effect and he thinks that I am the owner of the country club and is getting ready to hand me money for the balance of his bill. I nicely declined and told him I was entertainment and proceeded to show him a few things. Later that night a drunk guy comes up to me and asks if I am security and if so he didn't mean to get so drunk and won't cause any problems. I just walked away laughing. All I had on was an all black suit

 

[Luis Vega]

Alright a few more of mine.

I'm walking up the drive way of another child's birthday party gig with both hands full, carrying my case and a table. An older woman who appears to be in her 70's or 80's walks up to me and asks, "Are you the birthday party magician?" "Yes"...I reply. She laughs and then pulls out a squirt gun from behind her back and proceeds to shoot me twice in the chest and walks away laughing. I just stood there like, "Did that just happen?"

What the hell?!!!

 

[Justin.Morris]

Those are hilarious. Still laughing about the water gun.
I was doing a private function, borrowed a man's wedding band, and performed Interlace. I got to the part where I say "your ring is actually tied to my shoelace!" no reaction. I looked down and the ring was not there. Oops. Now I have a backup in case that happens, and although not funny at the time, it's amusing in hindsight.

 

[RickEverhart]

That's funny Justin, I think I would have been getting a little nervous at that point.

Here's another one.

I'm performing at a class reunion for people who are 75 and older. I am opening up a parlour type show with the shrinking and growing head illusion / spiral thing. Those of you who have seen it before know what prop I'm talking about. Any how, I go throw the entire routine of, "Stare into the spiral...counting down from 15....blah blah blah..." I get to the point where I stop my motorized screw driver to stop the prop and yell for everyone to look at my head and....duh duh duh.....NOTHING. Nobody laughed. Nothing. You could hear crickets literally...ha ha. I was thinking to myself, "Why didn't it work?" Normally people are rolling and laughing at how big my head grew so....I said, "Let's try that again." I do it again and nothing. I felt like the biggest idiot standing there holding the prop and obviously something was wrong. It didn't work for anyone in the room. I complete the rest of the show as normal and everything goes over fine.

On the drive home I call one of my professional buddies and he says that many of the people that age simply cannot stare and concentrate into a moving spiral prop...especially with bifocals and trifocals on and so the illusion did not work at all. They didn't get to see my head grow to an enormous size like all of my other audiences. Lesson learned. Don't do the spiral illusion for old folks homes or the elderly. Ha Ha.

 

[icannotmakeapassword]

That's funny Justin, I think I would have been getting a little nervous at that point.

Here's another one.

I'm performing at a class reunion for people who are 75 and older. I am opening up a parlour type show with the shrinking and growing head illusion / spiral thing. Those of you who have seen it before know what prop I'm talking about. Any how, I go throw the entire routine of, "Stare into the spiral...counting down from 15....blah blah blah..." I get to the point where I stop my motorized screw driver to stop the prop and yell for everyone to look at my head and....duh duh duh.....NOTHING. Nobody laughed. Nothing. You could hear crickets literally...ha ha. I was thinking to myself, "Why didn't it work?" Normally people are rolling and laughing at how big my head grew so....I said, "Let's try that again." I do it again and nothing. I felt like the biggest idiot standing there holding the prop and obviously something was wrong. It didn't work for anyone in the room. I complete the rest of the show as normal and everything goes over fine.

On the drive home I call one of my professional buddies and he says that many of the people that age simply cannot stare and concentrate into a moving spiral prop...especially with bifocals and trifocals on and so the illusion did not work at all. They didn't get to see my head grow to an enormous size like all of my other audiences. Lesson learned. Don't do the spiral illusion for old folks homes or the elderly. Ha Ha.

Interesting.

A joy to read all the stories! Keep 'em coming.

 

[Simon_Magic]

I did a cabaret show recently. I'd gone through my entire act and I finish on an escapology routine with rope.

The Audience where really nice and i decided to do an added bit that I perform that I get a kiss off the girl that helps me. I cued up the music and asked for an attractive volunteer.

"get Cher up!" was the cry from the audience, and so I asked for Cher's help. I couldn't see the audience, and it wasn't until last minute that I found out that 'Cher' was a transvestite, who was dressed in a leather-look pvc outfit.

I'd already cued up the music and so went for the kiss which got a good laugh off the audience as he went along with it.

I then asked him to tie me up. It wasn't until afterwards I found out that 'Cher' was a bondage expert, and in my adrenaline fuelled state I'd forgotten to do my bit of prep to make it easier for me to get out. I secretly died a little inside.

I said I'd get out in 1 min 15 sec (Normally I say a minute, but this was really tight and wanted some extra time). I got out in 1 min 17 sec. I was really annoyed but the audience didn't care and loved it!

Afterwards I talked to 'Cher' who was out of drag at that point. His words made my night. He said to me:

"I work with ropes often, but I decided to go easy on you so you didn't look stupid on stage".

I think that could win an award for weirdest story haha!

Simon_Magic

 

[RickEverhart]

Wowsers Simon...that is an insane story. I can't compete with that yet. I'm sure I'll have something down the road that is bizarre. Thanks for sharing that one. Hilarious!

 

[Luis Vega]

Ok...I wanted to write this up in a Urban Legend Chronicles...but I am crazy busy!!!

I was invited to perform at a club in a foreign city...by the owner...and I was there, and everything was pretty cool, since I loved the place and the people was very receptive...anyway I could see from hours before that the staff was a little bit nervous and checking outside...anyway, I didn`t mind..

My show was over and the owner came with me and congratulate me...

"Hey Luis!! that was a terrific show..."
"Thanks man!! I am glad you enjoyed it"
"Nice..."
"So..what was all that about, the staff just checking around and outside"
"oh..there is some guy that comes from time to time, and he stays out of the place with his car and his girlfriend, drinking and making noise...I am here because I want to talk to him so he won`t park in front of my place"
"That`s bro...isn`t forbidden to park in front of here"
"exactly...that`s why I have to talk to him...OH!!!...there he is!!...come, with me...you look like a good guy" I am not sure why he said that...anyway..

We went out of the place and then he approaches the window and...HE PUNCHES HIS FACE!!!!

"WHAT THE F+++ ARE YOU DOING HERE!!! I F+++++ TOLD YOU TO STAY OUT OF HERE!!! IS THIS WHAT YOU WANTED!! HERE YOU GOT IT!!!" he screams while punching him through the window...I can only stare in disbelief...then the staff comes runing and he only instructs them to open the door for him, so he can beat his ace more comfortably...then the open the door...and he continues beating him...after 3 solid minutes of ace whipping...He stops and warn him to don`t return here...

"Oh...Luis!! I am sorry you had to see that...I am not like that"
"Oh don`t worry man...it was kinda funny..."
"I know!!"

There you go...enjoy!!!

 

[RickEverhart]

Luis, are kidding me? You seriously did not make that up? Man, I guess I am not the only one that has crazy crap happen at gigs.
I bet that was a bit uncomfortable for you to witness.

 

[Justin.Morris]

Guys, those are crazy!
Luis I bet you were glad your show went well...

 

[Rneogy]

Well I don't exactly know if this counts as funny. It was kinda disappointing, but it had a lesson, and I guess it was funny looking back on it. So here it is.

So I was performing at my school talent show. Now this was kinda big, but I only had 5 minutes. So yeah. My whole grade was there, and it was a pretty big auditorium. So they had like rehearsals for the show and they always turned out great. On the final day, it started out pretty great. I'm not gonna go through the entire thing. It was done to music by the way. That will be important later. So the second to last trick I was doing (the last being dresscode) was this thing, I forget what its called. I think its like the "Magic Demon Box" or something like that. Well i don't know whether you guys recognize it. It's like this small shiny metal box. And I can like open the top, front, and back, and just let it hang and you can put your hand through it, and see that its completely empty. Then You close it, and produce stuff like silks... So I produced a ton of silks, and the trick is possible that you can hand it out. So I just tossed it from the stage to the first row, so they could see it. Now as I said it was getting near the end of the music, and I was going to do Dresscode. And the kid I gave the box to...


... Threw it back into the air...

Now I know the kid, and I know he was trying to just let other people see it. Like I said, it was a pretty big auditorium. Problem was, I was starting to perform dresscode as he threw it. And as the box flew through the air, it caught everyone's attention, and almost no one noticed dresscode, which was supposed to be the big ending... Biggest problem was that since it was to music, I couldn't get their attention, because I didn't have a mic. So I kinda didn't get the huge finish that I was going for.

But they still liked it overall. And I learned not to distract my own audience from my own effects...

Rupayan

 

[SchNiTzELs]

The best I have was when I was at my old restaurant gig about 8 or so months ago. I did a floating bill and the guy did a spit take with his water. Not the best but it was funny at the time.

 

[Zenn_Darkfire]

So this just happened to me the other day. I just got back from NY where I was flown out to do a week of gigs. One of the gigs I was hired to do was this special needs fair that I did last year. I was hired to do a 20 min show and then do some walk around. After I finished my show I started doing walk around magic. I was doing a card routine for this one group when a clown walks by. I should probably preface that I am not a fan of clowns. I respect them, but I am not a fan of the birthday party type of clown (I do however love Circus clowns... weird I know). So I'm in the middle of my effect and the clown comes over and goes "Card tricks? Let me show you guys one" right as I am in the middle of my trick. One thing I pride myself on is my ability to think on my feet, so I just ignore him, perform a sybil cut and continue the trick. At this point the clown realized that I wasn't just some kid doing magic tricks and walked away. I thought I was done with him and continued doing magic.

About five minutes later I'm walking around with Rocky the Raccoon when the damn clown shows up again! "Oh I have one of those in the car! Hey do you have one of these?!" And he pulls out this cork gun and pops it right in my face. Immediately after that he goes "What about this?" and pulls out this horn thing and blows in it as he squeezes his nose. At this point I was fed up with him so when he turned around to get yet another prop, I palm the squeaker I had in my pocket and start poking him as I squeak it. It was hilarious! He froze and started checking his pocket because he thought I took something of his, at this point the people around us start laughing at him because he can't figure out whats going on. I then go and grab his nose and squeak it. When he tries and nothing happened, he was like "Uh... I guess mines broke." I then squeeze my noise and squeak it before saying "mine isn't" and walk away. It was amazing I totally won over the audience and made him feel like an idiot.

Needless to say, I don't like clowns lol