Im feeling like I should quit magic because everytime I do a trick to my dad he always exposes it and he recons that, that would happen in real life but I think he just wants to annoy me. Can anyone help me gain confidence back and deal with my dad being so annoying and mean and irritating?
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losing confidence
- Thread starter Wonderist808
- Start date
Pardon, but your father is an A--; rather than encouraging you and helping you build confidence he's trying to break you because he either has no interest in magic or is jealous. . . I say this because my father was the same exact way -- a Jackass. Yet, here I am 5 decades later still working at a craft I love and that's the key -- PASSION. If you honestly love magic there's a couple of things you need to do;
1.) Practice More and don't worry about showing off for your family members that's probably some of the worst advice given in a magic book in that family will typically be your hardest critics and the most skeptical. Wait until you know you're accomplished at things.
2.) Embrace It -- if magic is your love then embrace it by striving to be the very best you can be. This means that you practice in private in front of mirrors so you can get your moves and everything smooth, clean, natural. Learn to be able to do magic with most anything around you and do it well. Invest your money into books and absorb the information to the best of your ability but retain those books and build a library that will carry you along the way.
3.) Don't Sweat It! -- Don't let bullies get you down and sidetrack you from your dreams. Let them build your character and teach you how to deal with hecklers for you WILL encounter many more, some of them far worse than what your father is putting you through presently.
4.) GET OUT THERE AND DO IT! In order to swim proficiently you must jump into the deep end of the pool so you build the confidence you need e.g. get out there in the big world and show your friends, classmates, etc. You don't have to do a bunch of stuff, just one or two effect you know you have down pat and then work on getting others down perfect so you can do them. BUT DON'T RUSH! Take your time to learn each routine. . . remember, there are award winning pros out there that take years studying and perfecting one single routine. While I don't expect you to take years, I would encourage you to take a month or two or study practice.
Learning Magic is akin to learning Music. . . it takes time and experience but, when you're dedicated to the practice and focused on a goal, you will ultimately win.
1.) Practice More and don't worry about showing off for your family members that's probably some of the worst advice given in a magic book in that family will typically be your hardest critics and the most skeptical. Wait until you know you're accomplished at things.
2.) Embrace It -- if magic is your love then embrace it by striving to be the very best you can be. This means that you practice in private in front of mirrors so you can get your moves and everything smooth, clean, natural. Learn to be able to do magic with most anything around you and do it well. Invest your money into books and absorb the information to the best of your ability but retain those books and build a library that will carry you along the way.
3.) Don't Sweat It! -- Don't let bullies get you down and sidetrack you from your dreams. Let them build your character and teach you how to deal with hecklers for you WILL encounter many more, some of them far worse than what your father is putting you through presently.
4.) GET OUT THERE AND DO IT! In order to swim proficiently you must jump into the deep end of the pool so you build the confidence you need e.g. get out there in the big world and show your friends, classmates, etc. You don't have to do a bunch of stuff, just one or two effect you know you have down pat and then work on getting others down perfect so you can do them. BUT DON'T RUSH! Take your time to learn each routine. . . remember, there are award winning pros out there that take years studying and perfecting one single routine. While I don't expect you to take years, I would encourage you to take a month or two or study practice.
Learning Magic is akin to learning Music. . . it takes time and experience but, when you're dedicated to the practice and focused on a goal, you will ultimately win.
Parents can make some of the worst spectators out there because they don't take most anything we do seriously unless it falls into their plan for how our lives should go. My parents have always loved my bent for performance because they're both amateur performers themselves, but they never wanted me to go into professional performance because they know it's not lucrative for most of the people doing it, and they believed with my intelligence I could go off to school and get a high-paying medical or legal job while still doing amateur performance to satisfy that part of my personality.
I listened for years and tried and tried to find a career that I could stand and that would also make me some decent money, but in the end I didn't really fit into anything. I've been working a restaurant job, living as a starving artist who wasn't doing any art, and at some point I realized that performance is my passion, and I would never be happy chasing anything else. I'm just one of those people that pretty much needs to be performing as a full-time job. I'll probably always have a day job, and probably so will you if this is really your thing, but if it's truly your calling, then it's worth it to pursue, no matter what anyone says to you.
I listened for years and tried and tried to find a career that I could stand and that would also make me some decent money, but in the end I didn't really fit into anything. I've been working a restaurant job, living as a starving artist who wasn't doing any art, and at some point I realized that performance is my passion, and I would never be happy chasing anything else. I'm just one of those people that pretty much needs to be performing as a full-time job. I'll probably always have a day job, and probably so will you if this is really your thing, but if it's truly your calling, then it's worth it to pursue, no matter what anyone says to you.
When you are starting out, you will get caught a lot by friends and family. It's typically because one doesn't practice enough before showing the effect. Once you start getting good at it, you learn to rely on people to expose you so that you can honestly know what people are thinking. Now my wife does this for me on purpose. She helps me know if I flash, or my patter stinks, or if the effect just isn't very strong and how I might improve it.
There have been tricks that I don't do anymore because I kept getting caught. Someday I'll revisit them more and get good at them, but getting caught was embarrassing enough that I bailed on that trick for the time being.
On the other hand, I love doing a basic silk vanish to a TT (I use a 12" diamond cut silk ftw). People who have never seen this -it blows them away. But there are a few who have seen it before and used to call me out. (Now the comment I get most is "I saw that before but the other guy had to use a fake finger!") I buffer the people who have seen the trick before by including in my patter, that "Some of you may have even seen this trick before [because I learned it in a kids magic set]" This seems to really disarm those who have seen it.
Because you are just starting out, and you are not able to avoid your dad, a good angle for you to aim at is self working tricks. These tricks can be very strong, and because you don't have to worry about sleights or moves that you may get caught on, you can learn to grow your presentation and confidence. You need these to grow to be able to pull off many sleights. Confidence and presentation can cover even a sloppy double lift. Learn a bunch of self working effects and have fun with presenting (off the top of my head Out of this World is a good one. You can also check out the magic cafe for a wealth of input on these effects: http://www.themagiccafe.com/forums/viewtopic.php?topic=244245&forum=206&8)
If you want to practice sleights, I would work on an Ambitious card routine. Here's why: It can utilize multiple sleights, which will help you learn a small variety. It uses multiple methods. Start with three phases. Keep it simple. Then add another. Each phase should cancel out the last phase. In my AC I show people how I do it. But I lie. My false explanation makes so much sense, that they cannot fathom how I am able to do it so fast. Even without that though the AC is fun and strong (unless it's 16 phases). Three phases, each using a different method that will cancel out the last. For instance, phase one: double lift with a double backer. Phase two: Marlow tilt. Phase three: pop up move.
There are a gazillion resources (yep a gazillion) on the AC routine. One I would recommend is Born to Perform with Oz Pearlman. It's cheap and has a ton of other wonderful moves on it (as well as a couple other effects) A great deal.
But all in all, keep playing with it. You will get busted more, but there will be many times that you wont. If you get your dad on your side, he might end up being your best asset. Next time he catches you, instead of throwing your arms up and being upset, ask him how he things you might make it better and more deceptive. If he is helping you become better, your relationship will improve in this area - and you will become better! It's similar to magician buddies. Good magic buddies say "good job, but I saw you flash when you..." or "you might try this instead...." Bad magic buddies just say "awesome! good job!" after they see you flash. But the relationship needs to be in place.
There have been tricks that I don't do anymore because I kept getting caught. Someday I'll revisit them more and get good at them, but getting caught was embarrassing enough that I bailed on that trick for the time being.
On the other hand, I love doing a basic silk vanish to a TT (I use a 12" diamond cut silk ftw). People who have never seen this -it blows them away. But there are a few who have seen it before and used to call me out. (Now the comment I get most is "I saw that before but the other guy had to use a fake finger!") I buffer the people who have seen the trick before by including in my patter, that "Some of you may have even seen this trick before [because I learned it in a kids magic set]" This seems to really disarm those who have seen it.
Because you are just starting out, and you are not able to avoid your dad, a good angle for you to aim at is self working tricks. These tricks can be very strong, and because you don't have to worry about sleights or moves that you may get caught on, you can learn to grow your presentation and confidence. You need these to grow to be able to pull off many sleights. Confidence and presentation can cover even a sloppy double lift. Learn a bunch of self working effects and have fun with presenting (off the top of my head Out of this World is a good one. You can also check out the magic cafe for a wealth of input on these effects: http://www.themagiccafe.com/forums/viewtopic.php?topic=244245&forum=206&8)
If you want to practice sleights, I would work on an Ambitious card routine. Here's why: It can utilize multiple sleights, which will help you learn a small variety. It uses multiple methods. Start with three phases. Keep it simple. Then add another. Each phase should cancel out the last phase. In my AC I show people how I do it. But I lie. My false explanation makes so much sense, that they cannot fathom how I am able to do it so fast. Even without that though the AC is fun and strong (unless it's 16 phases). Three phases, each using a different method that will cancel out the last. For instance, phase one: double lift with a double backer. Phase two: Marlow tilt. Phase three: pop up move.
There are a gazillion resources (yep a gazillion) on the AC routine. One I would recommend is Born to Perform with Oz Pearlman. It's cheap and has a ton of other wonderful moves on it (as well as a couple other effects) A great deal.
But all in all, keep playing with it. You will get busted more, but there will be many times that you wont. If you get your dad on your side, he might end up being your best asset. Next time he catches you, instead of throwing your arms up and being upset, ask him how he things you might make it better and more deceptive. If he is helping you become better, your relationship will improve in this area - and you will become better! It's similar to magician buddies. Good magic buddies say "good job, but I saw you flash when you..." or "you might try this instead...." Bad magic buddies just say "awesome! good job!" after they see you flash. But the relationship needs to be in place.
Family can be hard. My wife is Sherlock-Holmes-analytical. The first trick I did for her I accidentally flashed. The second time, I practiced for a good week and she figured out when and where I used sleight of hand--there was nothing I can do, she can figure out crazy angles of things--but she can't 'enjoy' magic because of it.
Anyway. One thing I tried doing is sidestep into another avenue of magic: flourishes. I do this because they look like magic on their own and there's really nothing to flash. It's rather binary: you either can do the flourish or you need more practice.
I'm practicing a lot of prop magic with a focus on children's entertainment as well as cardistry in case I hit a wall--and if I hit a wall in cardistry, my focus goes into overdrive in the children's entertainment department.
I'm in the boat to where if I get sunk by something like what you're describing, words of encouragement don't sink in. This is where the 'different avenue' kicks in because it's a different form of what you're doing and it gets your mind off of what happened.
Buuuut. If you want a good 'layman killer' in the form of prop magic. Get yourself Tenyo Magic's Crystal Cleaver. Easy to do, the gimmick is genius, and you can have your dad inspect it.
Anyway. One thing I tried doing is sidestep into another avenue of magic: flourishes. I do this because they look like magic on their own and there's really nothing to flash. It's rather binary: you either can do the flourish or you need more practice.
I'm practicing a lot of prop magic with a focus on children's entertainment as well as cardistry in case I hit a wall--and if I hit a wall in cardistry, my focus goes into overdrive in the children's entertainment department.
I'm in the boat to where if I get sunk by something like what you're describing, words of encouragement don't sink in. This is where the 'different avenue' kicks in because it's a different form of what you're doing and it gets your mind off of what happened.
Buuuut. If you want a good 'layman killer' in the form of prop magic. Get yourself Tenyo Magic's Crystal Cleaver. Easy to do, the gimmick is genius, and you can have your dad inspect it.
Some options.
1. Relax and enjoy the journey.
2. Put magic on the back burner.. but don't quit.
3. Show random people. Randoms are trained to be respectful. You dad is trying to "toughen" you up. But what he doesn't realize is it's killing your confidence even away from magic.
4. Get better an misdirection.
Also if your dad is exposing magic.. he's obviously not a "laymen".
1. Relax and enjoy the journey.
2. Put magic on the back burner.. but don't quit.
3. Show random people. Randoms are trained to be respectful. You dad is trying to "toughen" you up. But what he doesn't realize is it's killing your confidence even away from magic.
4. Get better an misdirection.
Also if your dad is exposing magic.. he's obviously not a "laymen".