I commend you for tackling such a elusive sleight and it is certainly better than what I can do, however, it is still a long way from looking really good. From a spectators perspective I could see lots of movement in the left hand. Could be just the angle of the camera? Possibly try steadying the wrist and using more finger? Also, you seem to be covering almost 2/3rds of the deck. Erdnase says to cover about 1/3rd and Chris Kenner covers about 1/2 the deck. How much you cover is probably down to style preference but I think once you speed it up and quiet your left hand a bit you will have a more impressive looking move....especially if you intend to use it as a change. Overall good work. I wish I could give you some "expert" advice but I have yet to put any serious work into the move myself...consider this a "spectators" opinion.