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The Magic Chapter 3: A Wrong Turn

To see what happened last wek...click HERE

Or To read any of the stories up until now...Click HERE.
**********************************************************

But as we've all heard before..."Curiosity Killed The cat".

3 DAYS LATER...

Cards, Coins, stages, beautiful women, money. What could ever be so bad about magic. Ryan had been learning every trick he could get his hands on without paying for. He had already "Learned": The French Drop, A Retention Vanish, some Random Ring Trick, A Dissapearing knot on String Trick, A Cup Through Table, A Card Warp thingy, and a Simple Trunover Card Trick. The last two he could not do as he had no cards and didn't care to buy any.

Surely these tricks would fool Mike. After all, he had never seen him perform these tricks, so he must've never even seen them before. Wel, Mike would be surprised when Ryan showed him all of these great tricks that youtube had taught him.

He once again executed a Fench Drop. Damn!!! It fell from his hand that was supposed to keep it concealed. Oh well. He could do it most of the time, at least fifty percent of the time. Besides fifteen minutes of practice for these tricks was enough for today. Tomorrow he would take them to "The Grill" and show Mike.

He could only hope that Mike would be entralled to see someone expressing this much interest in the art.

Ryan shut down the computer and stumbled off to bed. He glanced over at the light blue numbers gleaming from the digital clock on the stove. 12:34 am! He must've learned so much if he was on that long. He smiled to himself.

He reached his room and hopped into his bed and drifted into a deep sleep.

**********************************

THE NEXT DAY...

Ryan woke up around eleven and stumbled down stairs where he discovered that his parents were not home. No surprise there. His mother had probably gone to work, and his father to find some sleezy bar to drink in. Whatever, that meant he could do whatever he wanted to do today.

So, for a while Ryan just hung around his house and wwatched some Scrubs on Comedy Central. He kept looking at the clock anxiuously though, as if by some miracle time would speed upo and it would be time for him to see Mike at the restaurant.

Then after one hour of Scrubs, one episode of South Park, And one music video for the song Snow (Hey Oh) by the Red hot Chili Peppers on MTV, it was time to go out for lunch. So, he grabbed the money he had been saving from under his mattress and jammed it into his pocket. He threw on his sweatshirt and walked out into the sun. He had forgot how warm it was, and ran back in to remove the heavy coat.

Then he jogged down to "The Grill".

When he arrived he quickly found himself a seatbefore the lunch rush burst in. This time he had a much easier time finding Mike. He was in the center of the room looking from side to side with a serious look on his face, no doubt looking for his next target(s).

The elderly, let's say "Ruder", waitress wandered over to Ryans Table and tapped him on the shoulder.

"Hey...Oh, look who it is. You do know that if you keep coming here all the time you're gonna get fat as hell, don't you, boy?" She asked.

Ryan just shrugged and ordered a Cheeseburger. Not really caring about the food too much. He patiently waited for Mike to come over while he tapped his fingers on the table.

Finally, he came to see Ryan.

"Hey Ryan! Back again?" He aksed.

"Yeah. Hey what's her problem?" Ryan asked poiting at the waitress.

"Oh...That's Conny. Don't mind her, she's been working here a long time and loves to give people a hard time. Just nod when she talks to you." Mike laughed.

"Oh...okay." He replied, laughing too.

"So, are you here for another trick?" Mike asked reaching into his pocket searching for the item he may need to use for a trick.

"Nope!" Ryan said. "I want to show you a trick I learned."

"You learned a trick?" Mike asked with interest. 'Well,let's see it then."

Ryan pulled a coin our of his pocket and began to do the French Drop, then...PING!!! The coin fell from his hand and bounced on the table. Ryan was embarrassed but Mike did not make any rude remarks to him.

"Here...Let me try this one." Ryan said picking up the coin.

He tried out his retention Vanish for the first time but it had the same outcome as his first trick and the coin plummeted to the ground with a dull thud.

"Well...let's see...I know..." He was cut off.

"How much have you practiced these tricks?" Mike asked.

"Well, about like 15 minutes a day." He replied.

"and how many tricks have you learned?"

"Maybe like... ten or eleven." He said again sort of puzzled.

"I see. And Ryan do you think that you have practiced these tricks enough?" Mike asked with a strange look in his eye.

"Well, yeah...I mean no...Kind of...They don't always work out." He said again.

"Well, when they don't work out a lot that means that they need more practice. I usually practice tricks until I never screw up and then I'll show them to someone who'll keep a secret like my brother." He said.

"Oh..." Was all Ryan could say.

"Hey don't feel bad." Mike said after seeing the look on Ryans face. "it's a common mistake among magicians just starting out. They see all this cool stuff and just have to have it. Tell you what...go down to Main Street tommorrow and look for a place called Joe's Magic Shoppe. Go in and tell Joe you know me and ask his advice for 3 tricks to learn. He'll give you some good advice and set you in the right track, okay?" He told the boy.

"Yeah...That'd be great." Ryan said, the fire in his spirit rekindled.

"Okay than." Mike said and started to move on to the next btable then paused and turned back to Ryan. "And take these." he added and placed something down on the table. Then he moved on.

Ryan looked down and what he saw was beautiful.

His first Deck Of Cards...
******************************************************

More to come next friday...
Dylan P.
 
Sep 1, 2007
1,395
8
39
Belgrade, Serbia
Hey man, loved your stories. Too bad that we have to wait a week before the sequel ;)

But just two things tho. Firstly, you have a lot of spelling mistakes. It can be annoying sometimes, and some of the words, if spelled wrong (even one letter), can have whole different meaning. And that is just confusing...

Second thing is just something that passed my thoughts. I kinda got the feeling that they were really poor family. Father is and abusive alcoholic and mother is working at some low payed job. So where the hell did he got the money to buy a computer, and have the money for the internet?

Just a thought ;)

Keep 'em coming
 
C

CaseyC

Guest
Purely awesome. Loved the ending. I'm totally enthralled in this now. Hope everything works out for Ryan.
Keep em' coming!
 
Sorry about the spelling. the download for spellcheck isn't like working on my computer and it is really pissing me off too. And aboiut being poor, my friend is on verge of being evicted from his house and he has a computer. But it's not like LCD 45 inch touch computers. It is like a brown, huge, windows 98 peice of crap. No high speed connection. NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!
 
Sep 1, 2007
1,395
8
39
Belgrade, Serbia
Sorry about the spelling. the download for spellcheck isn't like working on my computer and it is really pissing me off too. And aboiut being poor, my friend is on verge of being evicted from his house and he has a computer. But it's not like LCD 45 inch touch computers. It is like a brown, huge, windows 98 peice of crap. No high speed connection. NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

I understand... But maybe you should mention it in the story, because (for me) it really stood up. It poked my eye and my (small :) ) brain...
 
Jun 10, 2008
1,277
0
You little stalker!
Here's some ideas for the story:

You should have Ryan start pirating stuff cuz he can't afford magic dvd's. Then Mike and the magic store guy find out and is ashamed of him for stealing, or something along those lines.


When Ryan walks into the magic store, he finds the store owner is really...........................BrianationX!!!! And he takes his dumb advice and trys to learn off the bad teachings of Generation X and he gets frustrated and quits.



Thos are some twists you can add to the store (although the second one was meant as a joke). Oh, and no matter what, the last sentence of the story should be:

But then, suddenly, the entire Earth got sucked into a black hole and everyone died. The end.
 
Jul 14, 2008
936
0
This is great. I am glad that I had this opportunity to read chapter two and chapter three now. I am very interested seeing the deck of cards. As always, keep it coming!
 
Jan 21, 2009
82
0
You beauty. I love these stories man. It's a pleasure to read some magic fiction.

First off, on the ideas given by other people. It's great that we're all jumping in and throwing some ideas, but it's not helpful. This is Dylan's story--he's the author. And any ideas that for the story as far as plot goes should be left to him; unless he asks for it specifically. It infringes on his creative process and it's like even if that's what he was already planning on writing, throwing an idea for the plot out there would allow you to take credit for what was already in his head. Game developers don't even OPEN suggestions because in all likelihood, it's already an idea that's come up--and if they see it from someone else they can be sued for plagiarism or creative property. So keep your plot ideas to yourself, or write your own stories, m'kay?

Good.

Now Mr. Dylan. You have a lot to work on. You've got a good start, and a great head on you. But this needs A LOT more polishing than what you're giving it. Instead of rushing out to the presses and publishing the story after the first draft, take some time away, get a cup of coffee, hang out with your girl, then come back and edit the story. A lot of writers I know get impatient and rush off with a first draft to the printers at once. It's not a pretty thing. Do NOT rely on the spellcheck alone. Read the story over, check for typos, discrepancies, and ambiguous wording. And then rewrite. Don't publish anymore first drafts. You get a free ticket for today, but next time I'm ripping into this if you don't edit.

In other news, I'm enjoying reading this. Keep it up.


Bless,
--Badger
 
Now Mr. Dylan. You have a lot to work on. You've got a good start, and a great head on you. But this needs A LOT more polishing than what you're giving it. Instead of rushing out to the presses and publishing the story after the first draft, take some time away, get a cup of coffee, hang out with your girl, then come back and edit the story. A lot of writers I know get impatient and rush off with a first draft to the printers at once. It's not a pretty thing. Do NOT rely on the spellcheck alone. Read the story over, check for typos, discrepancies, and ambiguous wording. And then rewrite. Don't publish anymore first drafts. You get a free ticket for today, but next time I'm ripping into this if you don't edit.

In other news, I'm enjoying reading this. Keep it up.


Bless,
--Badger

I do. I write the first draft then read it 3 times then read it 3 more times the next day, making changes as I see them. However, I have never been great at seeing mistakes and the spellcheck on my Microsoft Word won't work. Weird right? But I do try but I just don't seem to get all the mistakes but literally this was written on Monday and edited up to the release last night.
 
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